They never get us vampires ‘right’ in those nasty films. Take for example those crazy outfits we are supposed to wear. Black. Always black.

I better explain this so even Hollywood script writers can understand it. It’s dark at night and, unless you select something day-glow, you can pretty much get away with anything on the colour wheel.

Black does not suit me. I prefer an emerald green. It brings out the colour of my eyes and sets off the tints in my hair. Sinking my teeth in your neck, drinking your blood, and ending your life is a big event and I simply want to dress in my finest for the occasion.